I haven’t followed Christian youth culture over the last five years (living abroad,) so my observations may seem a little dated… or they may be totally relevant. My point of reference is that when I was a college student, Joshua Harris’ book “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” was new and served as a constant source of controversy and contrarian thought on the topic of Christian romance among my friends and Christian college students across America. After graduating college I worked in campus ministry with Campus Crusade for a few years and at that time Harris’ treatise on courtship, Boy Meets Girl, surfaced and added even more to the conversation. I’m sure that many other authors are in the mix at this time who I don’t know about.
As for me, I didn’t totally kiss dating goodbye, but I gleaned a ton of wisdom from Joshua Harris’ books and took it to heart. I brought much of that wisdom into first serious romantic relationship that led to my wonderful marriage to Rana and the family of three (soon to be four) that I have now. Harris’ counter cultural perspective on relationships and romance was, and continues to be a priceless alternative to the broken model of romance sold to us by Hollywood. That’s why it was so refreshing to see the Joshua Harris model demonstrated so beautifully in a film with such wide distribution as Come What May.
You can read my entire review of Come What May here , but in today’s post, I want to focus on the way this film deals with the sticky issue of Christian romance. In Come What May, a college student, Caleb, who is a dater falls for his debate partner Rachel. Rachel fits any stereotype one might have of a home-schooled young woman with no intention of recreational dating. Surprisingly, the film shows all that would be attractive in a girl like that. Rachel loves the Lord with a deep passion, she is intellectually sharp, she is respectful of her elders, she has a loving and supportive father who she submits to, and she is deeply committed to a vision of romance that will preserve her heart for the man she will marry. At the same time, she is not a prude, she is not passive, she is not a doormat to the men around her. She is a bold, confident and assertive young woman who impresses everyone around her, even Caleb.
As Caleb sets his sights on Rachel, he learns quickly that she’s not gonna go on a date with him. Although she seems to have masked feelings for Caleb, she actively guards her heart. He continues to pursue, and she seems to be in thoughtful prayer about the whole thing, but she takes her questions to her father and is clear with Caleb about her intentions. Does this sound boring? Well it’s not. In fact, it’s really romantic! I found myself rooting for both of them to get together and seeing the beauty of this outlook on romance. You’ll have to watch to see how it all works out, my point though is that it was much more romantic than one would ever expect. Come What May is a great contribution to the cannon of perspectives on Christian romance.
In light of all this, I want to recommend Come What May to a few groups of people. If you’ve recently read I Kissed Dating Goodbye or Boy Meets Girl, and want to see how this might work out, you’ll be inspired by Caleb and Rachel’s story, it’s really a beautiful romance, but it’s textbook courtship. If you’re trying to decide whether to “date” or to “court,” Come What May will give you a close look at what “courting” might look like for you. If you’ve asked someone out, but he or she has told you that they’re “not in to dating,” Come What May will give you a picture of what that means for them. Finally if you’re a parent, and your Christian teen or college student has told you that they’ve “kissed dating goodbye,” watching Come What May might set your mind at ease, or at least help you understand what they’re talking about.
This is a serious film, but the romantic aspect is truly fun to watch. I think you’ll like it too. You can buy Come What May at FamilyChristianMovies.com.